MOA on "Presence photography".

'What I've learned over time using this art in different ways'

I’ve always found a sense of comfort in photography. I can remember a core moment that I realised I loved the dopamine rush once you capture a perfect moment of presence.

I was in high school at the time, I had just entered into that school at year nine. So I was coming into the social scene of my year group, two years later, which meant I would have to assert myself in some way to feel liked or even gain some friends (of course I really didn't have to do anything but be myself).

So my uncle, aunt and cousin travelled in from las Vegas to visit us in New Zealand and as a gift he bought me a camera he never used. At first I tried to use it and i didnt like it, but my patience wore thin each time I stumbled upon a new issue or new settings update. I couldn't quite get a handle on it so it became annoying. One day at school one of the girls I really wanted to be friends with asked me if I was a model. Of course I was always told this and in some ways I thought that was my whole personality since everyone accepted me that way. So I said yes I was. She seemed so excited to talk to me afterwards and it was such a wonderful feeling to be accepted as not only a new friend but someone she wanted to be like. She asked if I had any photos I could show her of me as a model, I thought about it and looked through my ipad to see if there was any imagery that was “professional” looking to pass as a portfolio picture. I found one image on my mum's facebook that I had done a few months back at a talent agency. It was a group photo of me and a few other girls all in white, styled and made up to look like a 2000s supermodel group. This was perfect, my new friend thought so too. She grabbed my ipad and showed the rest of her group, me and my modelling photo. Everyone was in awe, they all shifted gears toward me and I felt extraordinary.

Coming back to the photography aspect of this story. I now needed a

real portfolio with new updated digitals so it looked like I was doing regular work. So I reluctantly learned the steps to using the camera, I got my sister to take photos of me in crazy outfits or recreated old supermodels images from vogue magazine. In the end my “portfolio” looked amazing. I got regular questions from my new friends about where I was getting these pictures done and if I could take any photos of them. Of course I would take photos of them, that's the most obvious way to make new friends. I had hit the jackpot and had also made myself a good reputation. My next step was to plan appointments with them aka “sleepovers”, they would come round in groups most of the time and I would set up a photoshoot for everyone to use for their Facebook profile picture. Once a few people were over, It became quite regular. I enjoyed the creative element of that process but I struggled with the main aspect of it, the friendship that felt a little fake on my behalf. I hadn't truly made a real connection with any of my new “friends”, they may have thought we were but deep down inside of me, I would feel a sharp cringy pain each time someone wanted to hang out with me (There are many more reasons for this inner pain that i felt, but we will get to those in another story). In saying that, my friends were never mean or would never ask of me for a negative reason, I just couldn't quite grasp myself enough to value me without the "model" or "Photographer" name, it was my only sense of self at that age.

This was the Image that created my "Reputation" at school.

A photo taken at school with a few friends.

One of the many many creative shoots we did on weekends.

My photography life became something I fell out of love with due to the empire I had created on fake foundations, I stopped taking pictures as regularly and began looking for my new creative outlet.

After a couple extremely life altering events that happened in my life I got back into it slowly. I noticed no matter who I met or where I went, my personality was based on my love for photographing people or things in my life. Even when I moved to America at 17, my first friend's hangout, outside of school, was an at home photoshoot that I created. My passion and love for this art was undeniable. It is a shield and it's also a forcefield in my life. As life went on I kept photography just within my phone or to keep my family and friends around the world updated in my life. To my younger selves true surprise my tactic of manifesting being a model actually worked as i found myself later traveling the world as one. I kept my photography and short film making in my back pocket wherever I went, it was a familiarity, a sense of grounding and a reminder that it will never leave me and I will always have some sort of company.

At the age of 21 I decided I had far too many pictures on my phone, I needed to store them somewhere but I also wanted the world to see them. So I came up with an idea to create an instagram page called “Littledaily”, it is a place where I publish all of the photos i take in a day, everyday. I started it in the summer of 2021 and have been consistent to this day. I realised after a while though that this activity of taking pictures everyday was actually a form of meditation, a distraction that brings me back to my centre focus for just one moment.

I spoke with my therapist one day about this and she explained to me that taking a picture of something, anything at all, will mean you stop, you look and you focus. It's a moment of presence, it's a moment of producing an art form of your own since its the way YOU see the world, no one else. The art of the daily pictures is the art of your imagination inspiring your surroundings. You see and feel the world and capture a moment for others to interpret. It's an incredible way to look at photography and It's the way I have only now come to realise I understood my creative abilities. Everyone has them, we just need to look inwardly to find them.

MOULDING OUR ART PRACTICE SESSION...

For the next week your job is to make a new album in your phone camera roll Called "MOA" (Moulding our art). this excersize is to take at least one picture a day of something that looks interesting or beautiful to you.

It can be absolutely anything, it could be a dog walking, the sky, your food etc... But the key to this practice is to be present for a moment with this action of taking an image. Slow down, focus your camera and take the picture like you’re trying to take it to explain the way you look at the world to someone else. Creativity is never wrong, so neither will your photo. Be as present as you can and you'll be surprised at what you capture. If you think it looks bad, try again. Its an art that is possible to master, it also puts our minds to work using our phones in a more natural way.

*If you need help in how to do it or inspiration in what to take, follow my Little daily account, @littledaily_____ *with four underscores* to see what I update everyday.

- Sabrina